Not all Thai-Farang Marriages do end up like the Cinderella Fairytale.

A Word of Advice for Those Thais thinking of Marrying a Foreigner There has been several reports from Mr Niyom Watthamawuthi, Director in charge of the Thai Embassy overseas for the Health and Welfare of Thai citizens who are residents overseas.

According to the reports there has been an increase in Thai women marrying foreign citizens. These women hold the belief and hope that once they are married to a foreigner, their life will be happier and more fulfilled. Besides, they will benefit financially, but contrary to that belief, not all Thai vs Foreigner marriages end up like that Cinderella Story. The report also suggested that most Thai women who are married to a foreigner and have given up home in Thailand, emigrated to join their partners in their chosen home will soon find that they are being taken advantage of in area such as doing the household chore, working like a slave in their marital home in order to satisfy their husbands, or their elderly parents. The money that their partners had promised to give them had all been forgotten about. In some worse case scenarios, the husbands become fed up with their Thai wives and abandon them. This was due to their inability to communicate and also the differences in culture also pose another problem to their marriage life. Such incidence occurs frequently among Thais marrying to Swedish nationals, one of the most popular countries Thais are married to.

According to Mr Niyom, the reasons why many Thais chose to marry Swedish nationals was because there was a Swedish national who resided in Thailand, had set up an Introduction Agency business to allow Thais who wish to find their ideal partners. The conditions being that they must register their details on the company’s website and pay the fees of 3,000-3,500 Baht. These applicants must also pay another fees which is 3,000-3,500 Baht should they receive an email from an interested party. According to the report, there are approximately 2000 Thais who have uprooted and emigrated to set up their new lives in Sweden during the year 2003. About 80 per cent of these applicants were women who have met their potential partners who made their holiday in Thailand. According to the Director in charge of the Health and Welfare of Thais overseas, at the Thai Embassy in Stockholm, he had received many telephone calls from many Thai women ringing in to tell the Embassy similar problems about them being mistreated, sometimes like slaves, or in the worst cases they have been abandoned by their husbands for several weeks on end. Many women who could not stand the treatments of their husbands’ bad behavior even left home to seek a temporary shelter and assistance from The Women and Children’s Institute.

According to the Department of Health and Welfare for women and children out of the 22 of these places in Sweden, they have handled and given assistance to women who had been such similar conditions in the past two years.

What is worse is the fact that many women have actually been brought into the country by the same man.

The majority of Thai women who marry a foreign national come from the eastern part of Thailand as they have limited level of education and above all they do not possess the ability to be able to communicate in English. They rely largely on their husbands as the main bread winner. When they are abandoned by their husbands, they are faced with the need to defend for themselves. A word of warning to our readers then that not all Thai-Farang marriages do actually end up like that of a Cinderella FairyTale!

I’m going to fill my belly and have some money in my pocket again.

I've always been a great reader. You can completely loose yourself in books. I?ve got a broad range of interests, but I particularly like literature, politics and philosophy. I suppose I really developed my interest after my mother died of cancer when I was 10.

Being a well-known real estate developer, my father was always out, at meetings, visiting sites and travelling to see my uncle in Hong Kong. I had to occupy myself for much of the time and in those days, Thai TV wasn?t much to write home about, so I started reading in earnest.
I suppose you could say I was spoilt as a child. My father obviously felt sorry for me after my mother died, so he indulged me, buying me virtually everything I ever asked for.
As I was nearly 11 when my mother died, I didn?t have long to wait before transferring to my secondary school. I went to an international school because they had a strong languages department and my father wanted me not only to improve my Cantonese, which I already spoke, but also to learn Mandarin and English, of course. The teachers really appreciated me, partially because they felt sorry for me being motherless, but mainly because I was a really conscientious student. I always completed my assignments before the deadline and I was creative in my approach.
I romped through school, forming many friendships because I?m a likeable sort of person and was always ready to help if any of them ever had a problem. I had no trouble with the exams and passed my IGCEs with flying colours and embarked on my A level courses.
Half way through my second year, everything changed again. My father met a glamorous young lady called Rung from Chiang Mai like my mother, but her family was slightly higher up the social ladder. I had problems with her from the very start. I was always a bit of a Daddy?s girl even when my mother was alive and I suppose I resented the fact that my father?s new lady monopolised his time and thrust me into the background.
Things got even worse when they got married and whenever we were together you could cut the air with a knife. Rung was hyper-critical of me, but not to my face. She used to wait until I?d left the room before she complained to my father about me. I suppose I also resented no longer being the young lady of the house as I?d enjoyed that position for nearly 7 years. I wasn?t the only lady of course towards the end, because my father?s mother had come to live with us.
I was almost ready to take my A levels and had a tentative offer from the Bangkok university, so my father decided the best solution was to set me up in my own place in Nawanakorn. He was even more generous than usual, probably because he felt guilty. Apart from the lavish condo, he also bought me a BMW 323 and gave me a driver and a maid. There was one drawback, however, because I was still relatively young, nearly 18, Thai middle class custom dictated that I had to have a chaperone, so my father persuaded my grandmother to come and live with me.
I had passed my A levels with extremely good grades, so the university was pleased to offer me a place. We all moved into the condo in Nawanakorn just before I went to university and things settled down for a while.
The next development was that Rung had really wanted to start a family quickly to consolidate her position and nine months after she and my father got married, she had twin girls. That didn?t really put me out as I was considerably more mature by then. What really upset the applecart was that my father collapsed in the bathroom one day. He was rushed to hospital and, after tests, the doctor informed us that he?d had a stroke and his condition was serious. Later that day, he had another, which paralysed him and left him unable to communicate.

That was when the grim reality really began to dawn upon me. For the first time in my life, I was forced to catch public buses. A complete nightmare as I?d never even travelled on one before and had no idea even how to pay. The people on the bus were completely unsympathetic, assuming I was fresh from the most remote village in Esarn.
The next day, my world almost fell to pieces. It was 14th May 1997, the start of the East Asian Financial Crisis. Over the next few weeks, things went from bad to worse, until one day, my step-mother came round to my condo looking very grave. Apparently, my father?s assets had suffered a complete catastrophe. He was effectively bankrupt and all his developments were impounded. Rung, with tears in her eyes, told me that we would have to sell the car, the condo and virtually everything I owned.
The next week was my graduation, at least one thing had come right. Celebrating later that day with some of my friends, I looked into my purse to discover I only had 20 Baht. Going to the nearest ATM, I inserted my card and punched in my requirement of 5000 Baht. My card was rejected, I only had 2000 Baht in the account and that was the only money I had in the whole world!
We sold the condo the following week, but my step-mother took most of the money top pay my father?s medical bills. I was forced to borrow money from friends to pay the necessary 3 months? deposit on a very small condo in Ekkamai. The next few weeks were among the most unhappy of my life, until a ray of sunshine banished my gloom.
I received a phone call from my uncle in Hong Kong who had heard of my sad plight and as he had promised my father he would take care of me in the event of anything bad happening to me, he was eager for me to come to Hong Kong right away and he would give me a job in his company. He transferred enough money into my account to pay the airfare and buy some new clothes and off I went to start a new adventure.
Uncle met my plane at Hong Kong Airport and took me straight to a condo he?d rented for me. It was very nice, but no frills. As there was no maid service, for the first time in my life, I had to do my own laundry, clean my room, make my bed and basically live like ordinary people. My uncle said it would do me a power of good as I had been living in a dream world and needed to come down to earth. I started work with my uncle?s company full of optimism.
My luck had only marginally turned, however, and bad luck was still haunting me. I caught pneumonia which rapidly developed complications due to my depressed state, so much so that I had to return to Bangkok for treatment. Thankfully, my uncle paid all my expenses and medical bills. He gave me an allowance which allowed me to rent a small condo in Sukhumvit Soi 33 and even to hire a nurse to look after me while I recovered.
After a month, I had sufficiently recovered to contemplate going back to work in Hong Kong. The date was February16th 1998, I was about to phone a local travel agent to book my return flight and went over to turn down the TV where I had been watching CNN when a breaking news item caught my attention. China Airlines Flight 676 from Bali to Taiwan, carrying 182 passengers, had disappeared from the radar screens, presumed crashed. I don?t know why, but a chill dagger of fear ran down my spine. I couldn?t understand it. I didn?t know anyone who lived in either Bali or Taiwan. No inkling of the significance of the news registered, until later that evening my uncle?s secretary called me from Hong Kong and told me my uncle had been on the plane, returning from a business meeting in Bali. There were no survivors. My uncle was dead. The phone just dropped from my hand as I stood in stunned silence, the implications slowly sinking in.
That was the longest day of my life. I had lost everything: my favorite uncle, financial support, prospects for the future, effectively my whole life.
We attended the funeral, but it was one of the saddest occasions I have ever experienced. They didn?t even have a body to bury, just a photo. Uncle hadn?t included me in his will and I was left nothing. I had 20,000 Baht in the bank. I felt dreadful. Would nothing ever go right for me? Would this train of bad luck ever end?
I decided to go and visit my father in Chiang Mai. I felt the wings of the Angel of Death hovering and determined to get up there as soon as possible, before he died, too. When I got to my father?s house, I was astounded by the condition of the house and especially the state of my father. He looked pale and wan; his hair was lank and bedraggled. His clothes looked as though they hadn?t been changed for a week. Rung was really neglecting him. So much for true love, when the money went, so did Rung?s care and attentiveness.
My father?s nails were long, brittle and dirty. I decided the least I could do was cut them for him. When I started cutting and looked closer, I was appalled to see that at least half of my father?s nails were already dead. I turned to Rung and really laid into her, accusing her of being callous and uncaring. ?How could you leave my father in such a dreadful state? You?re just a gold digger, a heartless bitch,? I shouted at her. She for her part wasn?t about to take my criticism lying down and we started a full scale argument. Eventually, I just stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind me. Totally drained and despondent.
Still livid, I went back to Bangkok to my condo in Soi 33. When I got there I went straight into the bedroom and just collapsed on the bed and cried my eyes out. I was totally exhausted, no family, no money to talk of, and no-one to turn to. I had to stand on my own two feet. I had to get a job to support myself. I had a degree; it couldn?t be that difficult, could it? But it was. It was the aftermath of the financial crisis and no firms were hiring. I went from one interview to another, feeling worse after each one, until I was virtually suicidal. Then my luck turned, a friend told me about a PR job paying 12,000 Baht a month that was vacant at a hotel at PluenChit area. I telephoned and rushed over, feeling that this was my last chance.
As luck would have it, the interviewer was a farang in his late 40?s who didn?t seem at all interested in my qualifications; he just kept looking at me slyly from the corner of his eyes. He asked me to start the next morning and I went home feeling the happiest I?d felt for ages. My happiness didn?t last though. I worked for the first week all the time with the feeling that the boss?s eyes were boring into my back and mentally undressing me. He flirted outrageously. I had an awful time trying to stop him groping me at every opportunity. Then in the Friday after work, he asked me out to a nearby bar for a drink. My fist instinct was to decline gracefully, but in Thailand employees don?t refuse their bosses? requests, so what could I do but go?
I should have known better, but I was so naïve, never having drunk alcohol to any great extent before. My boss kept plying me with Marguerites, telling me they were slightly stronger than beer, when in fact they were loaded with tequila. By the end of the evening, I didn?t know whether I was coming or going. I couldn?t focus, slurred all my words, couldn?t think straight at all and could hardly stand up.

I woke up the next morning in his bed. I was shocked and blazingly angry. I had been taken total advantage of by an unscrupulous bastard. I had only had one steady boyfriend before when I was in the 2nd year at university. We?d had furtive sex a few times, always hurried and nervous about being discovered. I wasn?t a virgin, but I wasn?t a bad girl either. My boyfriend, however, didn?t stay the course; he beat a hasty retreat when he discovered my father was bankrupt. He said that he couldn?t cope with my depressions and all the problems I was having.
I?d always thought love was beautiful, probably from reading too many romantic classics, but now I don?t know what it is anymore. I was totally disillusioned at the time. But there was no love involved with my farang boss. He?d just raped me when I was incapable.
I quit the job that same day. The boss tried to find me to apologize. He wanted to be my regular boyfriend, he said. But I was having none of it, I could have taken him to the police for forced intoxication and rape, but I didn?t. I just wanted to forget he ever existed.
It was then that I started to drink and smoke. I?d never smoked before and I should have known better, but I just didn?t care. I just lazed around my condo for a week, watching TV half-heartedly, but not really taking anything in. I was in a real state. I woke up with 500 Baht in my pocket, the rent of 6000 Baht to pay and absolutely no means of paying it.
It was then that my friend Tammy, who worked in an escort agency, came to the rescue. She brought round a video called ?Madame Beverley Hills? about the life of high class hookers. I watched it twice and finally understood what was involved in Tammy?s job. It was an impressive movie, not in the least bit sleazy, quite a work of art, actually, even though it was essentially about prostitution.
Right, I said to myself, I?ll do it. I?d been shocked quite frankly when Tammy had told me what she did, but now my circumstances had radically changed, I was no longer a poor little rich girl toying with the perimeter of life. I decided to forgive myself for my naiveté and parochial attitude. I was beginning to appreciate Maslov?s theory. No food, no money, clothes, but no means of washing them. I couldn?t even afford washing powder. I?d had enough of poverty and destitution. No matter what I have to do, I?m going to fill my belly and have some money in my pocket again. And that was how my descent into the maelstrom began.

Story by: Snookie
Translated by: Warina

Point of View of a Bar Girl

We hear frequently about the farang’s experiences with Thai bar girls, but rarely hear about what things are like for the bar girls themselves, or hear the truth of their opinions of or life with farangs. I’d like to take this opportunity to enlighten all you farangs out there and show you that you aren’t too badly done by. The first story concerns a bar lady who was invited back to her farang client’s hotel room. As soon as she was ushered into the room, she saw 6 farangs sitting expectantly on the bed. Now she’d heard of such things with ladies who had been with Arabs, but never before with farangs. Her first reaction was to try and escape, but the farang client who had engaged her held onto her arm tightly. She was lucky to escape with minor bruising after effectively being gang raped by the 7 men. Hopefully, she’ll know better next time.

This incident also illustrates how trusting Thai ladies are. If it had been a Russian, or one of my minders in Dubai, checks would have been made at the start and finish of the proceedings and someone would have kept a watchful eye on the client, but here in Thailand such things are not commonplace. Which leads me onto the next story.
One sometimes hears of ladies being kidnapped by Thai taxi drivers in Bangkok and whisked off to foreign climes. The next incident concerns a lady who shared a taxi with a Russian. Sharing is not usual in Bangkok, but she was in a hurry and didn’t think twice about it. The Russian started speaking to the taxi driver in Russian and he apparently understood him. The next thing she knew was a cloth containing chloroform being put over her face and losing consciousness. The next thing she knew she was on a freighter on her way, it transpired, to Dubai. She was forced to work in a hotel as a sex-hostess for six months before she managed to escape with the help of one of her clients. Moral, don’t share a taxis with strange men.
Thai men have a bad reputation of sending out their wives and girlfriends to work in bars, but not usually farangs. The next story shows even the supposedly jai dee farangs are not always so. A farang had been living with a Thai lady for six months and all had gone well, initially. She had been treated well, gold and other presents bought for her, taken out to expensive restaurants and on day trips to various exciting tourist venues. Then one day, it all turned bad. The money ran out and the first thing was that her boyfriend asked her to sell all the gold he had bought her. Then he asked her to borrow money from her friends, who rapidly turned into enemies, as a result. Then her farang boyfriend forced her to go to a mafia money lender to borrow money at extortionate interest rates. She was lucky to escape with her life over that one, when they were unable to pay and her boyfriend went into hiding. He reappeared 3 weeks later and it was then that the inevitable happened. He forced her to go and work in the beer bars to support them.
If Thai guys have bad reputations, this particular farang was ten times worse. He was an absolute tyrant. He made her work all hours god sends and forced her to go on as many “offs” as possible. So much so that she was battered and bruised. Eventually, she wised up and found another lady for him to take her place. She was lucky to get off the hook.
The next story is equally bad. A farang was so jealous of his live-in Thai girlfriend after hearing stories of how Thai ladies have innumerable Thai boyfriends that he effectively kept her imprisoned in his room. When he was there he wouldn’t let her go out and when he himself went anywhere, he kept her chained up to the bed by a chain and padlock. Needless to say, she sought help one day, phoning one of her friends who brought the Tourist Police round to free the lady. A similar story concerns a Thai girl that her farang boyfriend knew smoked speed or “yah ba”. He, too, was hyper-jealous and to keep her contained threatened to phone the police and report her every time she wanted to go out. Thankfully, she managed to escape one day when he was out. He didn’t contact the police because she found out he was a wanted criminal in England and turned the tables on him.

The Harrowing Tale of a Farang Betrayed

The Harrowing Tale of a Farang Betrayed

The following is a true account of and allegedly dishonest Thai sex-workers attempt to completely fleece her farang husband.

Both names have been withheld, but contact details will be passed on to interested parties who choose to communicate with PDN. The foreigner, who we will call John Roo, met the lady, who we will call Ying, apparently in Burriram. To cut a long story short, John fell in love with Ying and proposed marriage to her. As a consequence, he bought her a car, a motor bike and paid for the education of her 4 children over a period of 2 years. John says that he worked 8 hours a day to support and help this family that he considered his own and by whom he is still called ‘Papa’.
During some period of this time, Ying, at the insistance of her mother, went to Malaysia and Singapore. John only discovered when she was deported that she had, in fact, gone to work in these two locations as a prostitute. He also discovered that all the time he was with her she’d had several Thai boyfriends, at least one of whom had been driving the car he bought for her, and she had continued to work as a prostitute, all the while lying to him that he was her one and only.
John is currently stuck at her family’s house in Burriram, looking after her children while she is away, plying her trade in either Pattaya or Bangkok. Before she left, Ying gave John a signed IOU for Bt150,000, just before she stole another Bt25,000 (the cost of his airfare back to Australia), in addition to a further Bt300,000 that she stole previously. His embassy has told him they won’t help him out of his predicament, his friends and family have disowned him due to her and he is tired, scared and growing increasingly more desperate.
John made further discoveries about Ying, namely that she’d had 4 separate fathers for her children. In addition, she’s already had 4 abortions and is once again pregnant, which John assumes will also be aborted. She currently has genital herpies, all the while having practised unsafe sex, without a condom, and John is concerned that she will contract further STDs.

So others don’t fall into the same trap, we’re prepared to give several clues to Ying’s identity, namely that she is now 30 years old, has 3 distinctive tattoos: one on her lower back, a dark one on her right arm and a large dragon on her back. John says that she is a smooth talker and an habitual liar, who lies to Thais and farang alike. Most disturbingly John says she told everyone she had a rich farang boyfriend and borrowed money from all and sundry, telling them he will pay them back on her behalf. John currently has some members of the mafia looking for him, while other mafia members have found him and are putting pressure on him to do their dirty work by “doing (unspecified) things to her family”.

John says his neighbours can testify as to what type of person she is and that the whole town knows she did wrong by him. Apparently, she even attacked him and threatened him with knives when he asked her for some money back before she sneaked away with her mother’s help. He says he feels like a prisoner in their home with everyone treating him with contempt and pretending to care and be his friend. John says “my family gave them money to help and support them. I have nothing and no one now. I have lost everything. I have given them everything, my heart, my soul …. everything.”

Finally, John in utter desperation asks “Do they want me to kill myself before they are all happy…before they go out and do this to someone else?”These are the grim details of John’s heartrending story. If anyone cares enough to help him out of his dire predicament before he does something really desperate, please contact us and we will pass on John’s contact details.

Remarks:
The pictures are for illustrative purposes only. We hope to publish actual photos as we recieve them.
Warina Punyawan
editor.pdn@gmail.com

THE GRIM REALITIES OF BAR-OWNERSHIP IN PATTAYA

Snooki’s advice to aspirant bar owners

Have you ever wondered what it’s really like to own a beer-bar or Go-Go bar in Pattaya’s fair city? You have? Did you really talk to the people who run them and find out the true story?

            If you visit as a tourist and dream of being surrounded by idolising, willing ladies, dream on. The reality is somewhat different, especially in the low season, which seems to be most of the year these days. You’ll notice lots of bars up for sale on nearly all the notice boards in this Fun City. Ever wondered why? Ask yourself, if they’re such fun to run and so profitable, why are they always up for sale and why do you rarely see them advertised in real estate shops or publications. Could it be that they’re not so profitable and in reality, really difficult to run?
            Take the girls, for instance, do you think they’re as friendly as they appear when you’re a customer? If you do, you’re likely to be rudely awakened. Most of the girls seem to avoid work rather than welcome it. There’ll be squabbles, jealousy, groups of them leaving in droves. They’ll really stress you out; no doubt about it.
            And you’ll have to pay their salaries in the lean days, when your customers are few and the takings minimal. That’s if they haven’t already been pilfered by the unscrupulous members of the bar-girl fraternity. And don’t forget, for most bar-owners this is a 7 day a week enterprise, which is increasingly becoming a 6 day week as the girls wise up to their being exploited. Then, if you’re a concerned bar-owner, the girls have to be tested for sexually-transmitted diseases. And then you’ve got to get girls who will consistently be nice to the customers or will enthusiastically go out and “jap the farangs”.
            And then you may be afraid to take a welcome break for fear of all the girls leaving, or some unscrupulous, envious competitor reporting you to the immigration police for working. Don’t forget, you can’t lift a finger to help in the bar if you don’t have a work permit and few do! Then there’s ownership itself. Are you going to put the bar in your loved one’s name? If so, make sure she hasn’t got numerous Thai boyfriends, or a completely avaricious family with innumerable sick water buffalos, family members or younger siblings who seem to constantly need new mobile phones or motorcycles because they’re just lost or crashed them. You thought you were the one who wore the trousers, think again! It’s most definitely a risky game – Pattaya roulette, it’s called.
            Then there’s the lease. Make sure your bar isn’t too profitable; otherwise the lease is sure to rise as the landlord gets to hear of it. Or the competitors or the “boys in brown”, who will definitely be round for handouts. And so your profits vanish! There are those who do well, but very few. It’s often a question of prime locations, extremely able Mamasans, adept at keeping the girls, both in place and in line, (like me, until I gave it up and became freelance because it was too much hard work).
            And then there’s the noble art of knowing when to pull out or move on. And make sure you’re not tempted to sell cut price cigarettes from Cambodia or Viagra, for that matter. You need to have been here for a fair number of years to discover all the pitfalls, and you’ll hear many, many stories of failure – for the unwary, Thailand can indeed be the land of broken dreams, not just broken hearts. If you really want to own a bar, do some research. Check location, the competition, where to get stock, how much it will cost to redecorate, buy a new wide screen TV to keep up with your competitors, or a new pool table.
            Then there’s wages, how many employees to have. Think of the regulars, how to handle, freeloaders, or guys who play the girls or worse abuse them! Not an easy game bar-ownership, and don’t believe anyone who tells you it is.
Written by : Snookie